How to Write a Condolence Message

When someone you care about is grieving, reaching out with words of condolence can offer comfort and show them they are not alone in their time of loss. It’s never easy to find the right words, but a heartfelt message can bring solace during a difficult time.

Of course, it is difficult to know how best to express your condolences to someone who is recently bereaved, but bear in mind that simply making contact and showing they are in your thoughts will be some comfort.

Finding the right words isn’t easy, which is why we have put together this helpful guide to ensure you can write a condolence message that’s compassionate and supportive. With one of these heartfelt messages, you can make sure someone doesn’t feel alone in their time of need.

What Does Sending Condolences Mean?

Sending your condolences means reaching out to someone who has recently experienced a loss and offering words of comfort or sympathy to help alleviate their grief.

It is a way of acknowledging that they are grieving and showing you care. A popular way of showing support is by writing a message of condolence in the form of a card, an email, or sending a text message.

In most cases, condolence messages are sent after a death, but they can also be relevant for other personal tragedies.

How to send a message of condolence

A handwritten note or card remains the most traditional way to send a condolence message. You can simply send a letter or choose a blank card and devise your own words. Keeping it simple with a short condolence message is best so soon after their loved one has passed.

Although many of us frequently communicate via text or email, this is one instance where you should consider whether this is the most appropriate choice. Texts and emails have the advantage of speed, as do telephone calls or visits, but a card or letter requires more effort and seems more personal.

A word of caution regarding social media: While social media can be an easy way to communicate, it’s important to approach offering condolences with care. Only post publicly if the bereaved person has chosen to share their grief on these platforms. Always ensure that your message respects their privacy and emotional space during this sensitive time.

What to Write in a Condolence Card

Finding the right words can be challenging, especially during such a tender time. We’ve gathered some examples to help you express your sympathy with warmth and compassion, offering the support your loved one needs right now.

During such a difficult time, expressing your heartfelt sympathy can bring comfort. Here are some suggestions to help you find the right words to convey your care and support.

Short and simple condolence messages

These messages are suitable for most situations, conveying sympathy without too much detail. Short condolence messages are also perfect if you’re not sure what to write in a book of condolence.

  • “My heartfelt condolences on your loss. It was a pleasure to know [insert name].”
  • [insert name] will never be forgotten. We will treasure our memories of him/her and extend our condolences to you.”
  • “May you find comfort in the love and support of those around you. My deepest condolences.”
  • “The ones we love are never gone; they live within our hearts.”
  • “Sending you strength and love. Please know I’m here if you need anything.”
  • “We are deeply sorry for your loss.”
  • ‘May you find peace in the memories you shared. My condolences to you and your family.”
  • “Words cannot express how sorry I am for your loss. You are in my thoughts.”

Condolence messages for someone who has lost a family member

  • “I’m deeply sorry for the loss of your [insert relation]. They will always hold a special place in your heart.”
  • “No words can express how sorry I am for the loss of your [insert relation]. I didn’t know [insert name] personally, but I know how much you loved him/her, and I am here for you.”
  • “Your [insert relation] was an incredible person, and their memory will live on through the lives they touched. My deepest sympathies.”
  • “I’ll always admire the love between you and your [insert relation]. You shared an incredible bond that can never be broken.”
  • “There is no one in this world like your [insert relation]. [insert name] was a special person, and he/she will always be with you.”

Condolence messages for someone who has lost a partner or spouse

  • “I’m so deeply sorry for the loss of your partner. My heart aches for you during this incredibly difficult time. Please know I’m here for you in any way you need.”
  • “You and [insert name] shared something so beautiful. I hope those memories bring you some comfort during this heartbreaking time.”
  • “I was incredibly saddened to hear about the passing of your dear [insert name]. He/she was always so thoughtful and kind. [insert name] will truly be missed.”
  • “Someone who shared so much life with you will always be a part of you. Bonds like yours are forever.”
  • “Your [insert name] was such a wonderful man/woman. He/she was also an outstanding partner who will live in our hearts and memories forever.”

Condolence messages for someone who has lost a friend

  • “I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. Their kindness and spirit will be remembered.”
  • “Losing a close friend is so hard. I will be here to support you at any time and any hour. Sending you so much love."
  • “Friendships are special, and I know how much your friend meant to you. I’m so sorry for your loss.”
  • “I’m so sorry to hear about your friend, [insert name]. Take your time and be patient with yourself. I’ll be here for you when you need me. Sending you all my love.”
  • “I can’t imagine the pain of losing a close friend. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you grieve.”

Condolence messages for a colleague

  • “Thinking of you and your family as you celebrate the life of your beloved.”
  • “Words cannot express how saddened we are to learn of your loss. Please take your time. We are all here for you.”
  • “My deepest condolences to you and your family during this challenging time.”
  • “I’m so sorry to hear of the passing of your loved one. Thinking of you and your family at this painful time.”
  • “Please accept my sincere condolences.”

Religious condolence messages

For those who share religious beliefs, a religious message of condolence can offer comfort and spiritual support. Here are some examples of heartfelt religious condolence messages.

  • “I am lost for words at this sad time. Please know that I am thinking of you and praying for peace and comfort.”
  • “I will never forget [insert name]. May God give him/her eternal rest.”

Condolence message quotes

  • “Our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them.” – George Eliot
  • “It is not length of life, but depth of life.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

How to sign off a condolence card

The phrase you use to sign off a condolence message should reflect your relationship with the recipient.

For example, if it’s a close friend or family member, you should favour a message that’s more personal and less formal. However, if the card is for a colleague, you should consider something more formal.

Here are some examples of condolence message sign-offs.

Personal or informal:

  • With love
  • Thinking of you
  • With caring thoughts
  • With all our love

Formal:

  • With deepest sympathy
  • With heartfelt condolences
  • With sincere sympathy
  • My sincere sympathy

Whether formal or informal, the most important thing is to ensure your words of condolence are heartfelt and true. A personalised sign-off adds a thoughtful touch, showing your care and respect.

When is the best time to send your condolences?

This depends on the nature of your relationship with the person who is experiencing loss. If you enjoy a close relationship either with the bereaved or the deceased, you should make contact as soon as possible.

If you are a casual friend or part of a wider social circle, it’s fine to send a condolence message within a few days or just after the funeral.

Offer Your Support Through the Toughest of Times with Comforting Condolence Messages

Hopefully, you now feel better prepared to write the perfect condolence message. Whatever approach you choose, your words will genuinely make a difference.

To make your condolences even more heartfelt, why not consider sending a thoughtful gift or a bouquet of condolence flowers? It could really help to brighten someone’s day and make them feel less alone.

We offer same-day and next-day flower delivery for your convenience, hand-crafted and delivered to your door by a local florist.

Condolence message FAQs

The best way of expressing condolences is to send a heartfelt card. You could also send a text, email, or call them, but the preferred and most meaningful method is still with a card, either delivered by post or in person.

You can choose one of the condolence messages we have shared in this guide, as well as a positive memory of the deceased, to make it more personal. It’s a great way of showing support when someone has lost a loved one close to their heart. Sending flowers is also a popular choice.

Firstly, take some time out of your busy schedule to concentrate and sit down at a table or desk. This should help you write something meaningful and avoid being distracted by your surroundings.

Once you’re in the right headspace, check out the condolence messages in this guide. We offer both long and short condolence messages, suitable for all circumstances. Make sure you don’t rush the process.

Sympathy flowers are perfect for sending condolences. Bouquets are popular and tend to feature white flowers and other light colours, including lilies, roses, carnations and chrysanthemums.

At Interflora, we offer a vast range of beautiful bouquets that are hand-crafted and personally delivered with care and compassion. Using our reliable and trusted service is an excellent way to let someone know you’re thinking of them.

Even with the very best intentions, we can sometimes say the wrong thing to someone who has recently been bereaved. To stay on the safe side, try to avoid the following:

  • Don’t compare your feelings with theirs: We all experience grief in our own way, so even if you have also been bereaved, you are unlikely to know exactly how they might be feeling.
  • Don’t be overtly upbeat or try to find a positive angle: Give them the space to express their grief openly rather than feel obliged to appear that they are coping.
  • Don’t say what you would do if your family member/partner/friend died: Instead, focus on what comfort you can offer them rather than thinking about yourself.
  • Don’t refer to the afterlife: Unless you know for sure that the bereaved person and the deceased believed in life after death.

In addition to sending a condolence message, you can provide support by offering a friendly ear and a non-judgmental space for them to chat. You can also help out if they need anything, such as with shopping or childcare. However, it’s always vital to respect their privacy.

Whatever your preferred method, ensure you continue to check in on them in the long term. Actions often speak louder than words in times of grief.